Bruce Springsteen has a six million dollar insurance policy on his voice. Michael Flatley's 'Lord of the Dance' legs are insured for a cool 40 million. By definition, insurance is "Coverage by a contract binding a party to indemnify another against specified loss in return for premiums paid." Such a loss would normally include damage done by disasters such as fires, flooding, and major accidents. Strangely, however, it has become commonplace for celebrities to insure themselves against far less common misfortunes that could adversely affect their careers.

The sad part about these policies is that they are somewhat reasonable, considering that the failure of The Boss' voice or Flatley's legs would cost them the remainder of their careers and substantial future earning potential. Sure, it's unsettling to think that a man whose legs flail about like tentacles on an octopus is even worth 40 million dollars, but people pay to see it and he deserves a version of what normal folks might call "worker's compensation."

Unfortunately, such reasonable examples of body-part insurance are an enigma in a sea of ill-begotten vanity. Many celebrities with publicized body-part insurance have packed the policy with outlandishness and left common sense in their Prada bag.

The first documented case of body-part insurance, way back in the 1920s, was a downright unreasonable policy insuring silent movie star Ben Turpin's signature crossed eyes against going straight. If Turpin was allowed to insure his crossed eyes, could Curly of The Three Stooges have insured his ability to make that perfect "whoop-whoop-whoop" sound every single time? It is bad enough that a man was, at any one time in the history of our species, famous for having crossed eyes. But the fact that he had the idea to take out an insurance policy protecting his asset is simply unbelievable.

It doesn't stop there. In the 1940s Jimmy Durante insured his large nose for $50,000. Whether fact or fiction, it is rumored that Dolly Parton insured her chest for half a million and Bette Davis insured herself against weight gain. Where can the rest of us sign up for a policy like this? How many husbands and wives are wishing they had a weight gain policy for their spouse?

These policies are vastly illogical, and no rational human being could possibly think that a person's chest is worth half a million dollars. Give me a break; there are Hooters restaurants across the nation where such top-shelf talent is on display every day.

Strangely, one sees these policies more often in the entertainment realm than in sports. Athletes actually use their body parts to perform physical acts requiring a modicum of skill and ability. This as opposed to the demands that celebrities face, such as walking and standing up when subjected to forces that require the use of industrial grade straps and thick under-wire.

Most sports stars don't have individual insurance policies. Rather, the team takes out insurance policies on the team as a whole, or on major stars who serve to boost fan attendance. Certainly it would make sense for a running back to insure his legs for a few million dollars because torn ligaments and busted knees often end a player's career.

If you're an actor, singer, athlete, or just want to keep your body safe, there's a policy out there for you. Just keep in mind that insurance companies make a ton of money and unless you have a foolproof, safe and legal way to bust your own kneecap and collect on your policy, it's probably best to leave body-part insurance alone.