[ young today, rich tomorrow ]

Calculating the Love Connection: Managing the costs of dating

By Justin Powlison on May 1st, 2005 • Social, Life
Originally appeared in: Summer 2005

Dating often evokes excitement, anxiety and for some, nausea. Don't we have enough to worry about without having to analyze mixed signals and endure agonizing dates that never seem to end? We've all been there and realize that there is no end in sight. Ultimately this process proves necessary if companionship is something we desire, so back to the battlefield we go.

Take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. The latest U.S. Census reports indicate that over 26 million single Americans between the ages of 20 and 29 are likely sharing your dating woes. When the emotional costs of dating seem to be more than you can bear, consider the financial costs. Match.com estimates that the average romantic date of dinner, flowers and theater tickets can set you back $314. While this may seem overkill for a night out with someone you barely know, just dinner and a movie can cost you $85 in a city like Dallas or San Diego.

While "going Dutch" is becoming more widely acceptable, dinner and a movie could still be more than each person can reasonably afford, especially if you go out more than once a month. But the situation is not totally hopeless. There are numerous ways to save money on a date without appearing pathetically cheap or apathetic.

Behold: Dating without breaking the bank
  1. Forget the Four-Star. Unless you can afford to eat at four-star restaurants on a regular basis, don't kill yourself financially to make a first impression you can't maintain. You can enjoy fine dining on a budget without sharing the Grand Slam at Denny's. Unique delis or gourmet pizzerias serve your hunger just as well and save you money without appearing unimaginative.
  2. Wide Awake. With a Starbucks on almost every city corner and other various coffee houses popping up in-between, coffee dates are becoming quite the norm. Finding a coffee shop with ambience and comfortable seating will allow you and your date to get to know each other in a laid-back atmosphere. A designer coffee will cost only a few dollars, so indulge and order a decadent dessert with two forks.
  3. Happy Hour. Who doesn't like happy hour? Food and beverage specials allow you to enjoy restaurants that are otherwise out of your budget. Be sure to consider how busy happy hour can be. You don't want to have to yell at your date over crowd noise or wait for a table. Visit on a weekday to avoid the crowd.
  4. Priceless. To really break the monotonous traditional date, take your date to a museum or an art gallery. These are usually inexpensive or free, and prove to be great points of conversation with your date. The world famous Getty Center in Los Angeles, for example, is only $5 for parking and the gallery itself is free.

As things pick up with someone special, you can head into the dating realm of stargazing, making dinner for each other and watching movies at home. Until then, you can easily afford to get to know someone on a date if you budget and plan accordingly.

The Bottom Line

At nearly a $200 average per date in New York City over the course of 6 dates, a cup of joe from Starbucks for $3.99 is sounding pretty good right now, yeah?

Sources: census.gov; romancestuck.com

Noel

I don't mean to sound rude, but someone who spends over $300 on a date with someone they've just met is either a) a rich person or b) a person suffering from anxiety and rather low self-esteem.

by Noel on March 8, 2011
jenniebartlemay

 Definitely (a). Otherwise, if the partner was expecting that kind of money to be doled out, she (and sometimes he) is probably more interested in the fancy dinner and theater tickets than the company. There are plenty of dating options that aren't very expensive! 

by jenniebartlemay on March 8, 2011
Dawn D. Weaver

I really don't understand human beings.... Isn't dating supposed to be about having fun and possibly developing new romantic interests? I don't see how that would make someone experience anxiety. Sure, a little nervousness only now and then is natural and cute, but to suffer through such ordeals as some people do just to impress your date... that's plain dumb if you ask me.

by Dawn D. Weaver on March 14, 2011
jenniebartlemay

 This may be the argument for becoming friends before dating. Though dating-induced panic attacks would also be something to discuss with your doctor. 

by jenniebartlemay on March 16, 2011
Kaley

I really don’t understand human beings…. Isn’t dating supposed to be about having fun and possibly developing new romantic interests? I don’t see how that would make someone experience anxiety. Sure, a little nervousness only now and then is natural and cute, but to suffer through such ordeals as some people do just to impress your date… that’s plain dumb if you ask me.

by Kaley on June 30, 2011
jenniebartlemay

 The level of anxiety/nervousness depends on the person I guess. Be thankful that you're one for level-headed relationship shopping. Nervous Nellies aren't so lucky. 

by jenniebartlemay on July 5, 2011

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