In the past, we've covered the many facets of love, from The Cost of a Kid to The Business of Marriage, and the financial considerations that go with each. Life, however, isn't all rainbows and butterflies, and we haven't yet discussed the negative consequence of many unfortunate relationships: divorce. Having just escorted my 2-year-old nephew away from his squabbling parents during divorce proceedings, I found myself pondering the expense of this post-love debacle, both in the wallet and at home. So here you go, the sad and expensive truth.
Divorce isn't as easy as grabbing a pen and signing on the dotted line. It can often be a very costly financial struggle between ex-partners. Don't be surprised if a basic divorce (i.e., "You go this way, I'll go that way."), costs you an arm and a leg, or around $1,000 for those fond of their limbs. There are websites offering do-it-yourself divorces for around $200, but some advise against this. Don't be fooled by the low cost. Every divorce has different circumstances, and the legal advice provided by divorce attorneys will ensure that nothing down the road can be re-contested, especially when kids are involved. So do yourself a favor and shell out the thousands. That's right. Thinking you've found "the right one" when you haven't can cost anywhere from $1,000 to over $25,000 in legal fees--these numbers depend on whether assets are contested (i.e., not agreed upon) in court, uncontested or settled in mediation. After all, there are divorce attorney fees, child custody attorney fees, court fees, initial consultation fees, etc. Now imagine all that money being attributed to over 840,000 divorces in the U.S. in 2009 alone. If only the 3.5 divorce rate supported the recession.
They say that 50% of marriages fail, often not lasting past the first year. Others, unfortunately, go for much longer, and children eventually get dropped into the mix. This is where things get sticky. Not only will an uncontested custody modification set you back up to $6,500, the emotional stress put on a child is often overwhelming and confusing for them. Research suggests children living with both biological parents are healthier than those living with only one or none. It's a wonder who's really paying out the nose.
Until you've heard a 2-year-old sigh in his car seat, mumbling the words "I just want to be happy" over and over again, you won't fully know the cost of divorce. Whatever romantic situation you're in, understand the weight of your decisions, both short and long term, before taking the next step. In the end, the amount deducted from your account balance will never surpass the emotion turmoil you'll put your family through.
--Chris
P.S. Ever wonder which age group divorces the most? Ours. Those married before age 20 have a 20% likelihood of divorce while those married between 20 and 24 have a 38% chance.
Photo taken from this photostream and used with permission of a Creative Commons license.
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